“Mama knows best” is a popular saying and often believed by many people who have the understanding that parents always know what is best for their children no matter the case or circumstance.
While this is often true, it is not always the case. Some parents believe that they should decide the course of study for their children or wards. They are often sure that their opinion is the best and the child does not really know what is best for himself/herself. Sometimes, this overbearing nature actually comes from a place of love and care. While this may be true, some children may feel pressured or overwhelmed by the decisions and pressure of their parents.
As Natalie Sanchez Campos, owner of Next Step LLC said on Unigo, “In my experience, overbearing parents are really just loving parents. I ask them what their biggest fear is and then I help them notice the specific ways that the reality is much more friendly and kind. This usually helps their stress levels.”
Some children learn to discover their unique abilities, talents and capabilities very early on in life. Some discover their unique potentials, desires and passion for certain things while at an early stage and these things eventually become important to them. These leaders of tomorrow also have dreams they will like to make a reality, visions they will like to bring to pass, and paths they will like to thread.
Many parents of children like these may also have dreams for the child and often use these as nicknames for the children. When you visit some families, you may hear nicknames such as “Senator, Doctor, Pilot” and the rest of them. These nicknames sometimes, project the expectations of the parent to the child. Some parents want for their children what they wanted for themselves while they were younger.
Now, what if a parent who sees her child as a Pilot suddenly discovers that the child not only has a rare talent for music but also the desire to express himself or herself as a musician? This may be devastating to the parent and difficult to accept this as a new reality since the parent has always envisioned her child as a doctor who will take over the family hospital.
As a prospective college student, do you sometimes feel pressure from parents or guardians?
This is not necessarily a new experience and you are not alone. Though our parents have great intentions for us, their approach may not be the way we want it. Most parents and caregivers want what is best for their children as a matter of fact.
Parents are the pillars of society and every parent wants the very best for his / her child. As some may say, parents, are angels given to us by God to take care of us while on Earth while we take care of them in return when they are old.
Do you sometimes feel pressured by the things your parent's expectations of you?
Do you feel overwhelmed or controlled by your parents or caregivers?
You are not alone and you are not the first to feel this way. When trying to convince your parents of your capacity to make the right decisions in choosing your career path and school of choice, here are a few questions to ask yourself .…
When you are done answering these questions convincingly, let us move on to how you deal with parents as prospective college students in making wise decisions when choosing your career paths and desired institution to attend.
HOW THEN DO YOU DEAL WITH PARENTS EXPECTATIONS AS A PROSPECTIVE COLLEGE STUDENT?
1. Understand Your Parents’ Perspective and Where they are Coming From.
Do you understand why your parents are making the decisions they are making? What are their reasons? Why do they have this particular dream for you? Lastly, could they be right about some of the points they are trying to pass across?
2. Be Absolutely Sure of What You Want out of Life.
Sometimes, parents are sceptical about trusting the decision of their children because they perceive the child to be unserious or has poor judgements. While mistakes may not be such a bad thing, some mistakes can be costly. Not to talk of how much your mistakes can cost your parents who most times have to pay for your wrongdoings and poor judgement as well.
3. Prove to Them That You Know What is Best for You.
Sometimes, you may have to take an extra step in convincing your parents that you can make good decisions for yourself. This may involve taking extra steps that will bring results. For example, you want to become a footballer or a musician while your parents want you to become a doctor or pilot. Simply telling them what you want to do may not be enough. Give them results.
4. Don’t Go About Changing Your Mind.
If today you want to become a painter, tomorrow, you choose to become a musician and the next day, you want to become an artist. It is quite understandable that no one will really take you seriously.
5. Talk to Them.
Maybe your parents insist on choosing or deciding for you because they really do not understand how important that career path or choice is to you. They probably think you are being carried away by friends, trends or simply confused. Showing empathy with your parents while you talk to them, making them understand they may be actually correct in their own right, and explaining the reasons and advantages of your chosen career path may shed more light and give them a different perspective to view things from your own understanding.
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